the librarian

It all started about 2 years ago, when a short squatty little Hispanic lady started hitting on our Children’s librarian.  We’ll call him Drama Bear (a nickname he knows about and refers to himself as) and we’ll call her Angry Deaf Lady (ADL for short) because, well… she is angry and deaf and I have a tendency to break people down into the two most apparent adjectives that describe them.  If I wasn’t me, I would probably refer to me as Silly and Snarky Lady.  Or Drunk and Disorderly Lady.  Or Hyped up on Caffeine and Talking Really Fast Lady.  Depends on the time of day.

Anyway, ADL started making the library her morning pit-stop before work and seriously coming on to Drama Bear, who was REALLY not feeling it.  She wrote him little notes and asked him kinda random questions, like “do you think I’ll ever get married” and “do you think i’ll ever find a better job?”  And he’d respond with a vague “Oh, I’m sure you’ll find happiness.”  Well, Drama Bear took to running to his office whenever she got out of her car and the rest of us were left to play 20 questions.

Two years later, she’s still coming in and still asking questions about her future, like we’re some kind of Magic 8 Ball come to life.  I mean, I know the sign above the desk says INFORMATION, but that’s not really what it means.  Her questions now are more specific, like “do you think I’ll win $70 million from the lawsuit against my job?” She says she’s suing her boss because he’s mean to her.  Or “Do you think I’ll marry a tall Italian man who drives a BMW?”  And while she used to just frown when you said you didn’t know or shrugged, now she gets ANGRY and huffs at you.  Oh, yeah and she really hates me because I won’t answer her questions.  She asked me not long ago if I liked working at the Library and I told her I did.  She wrote me a sweet little note that said I DON’T LIKE YOU WORKING HERE. 

Lovely.

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