Jan 29 2009
Is that? Yes, it does appear to be a naked dead guy in a shopping cart.
A few years ago I opened the library on a sunny Phoenix morning and let a group of approximately 25 patrons in, then wheeled the hours sign out to the curb. On my way back in, off to the side of the building there was a parked shopping cart. Not unusual, the library is a frequent stop for the homeless and we’re accustomed to their “mobile homes” appearing in the parking lot, behind the dumpsters and occasionally in the magazine area (until we chase then out). What was unusual about this shopping cart was the guy crumpled up in it, like a discarded paper doll. A naked discarded paper doll. Oddly enough, none of the patrons waiting outside for us to open seemed to regard this as a problem.
So, I approached cautiously, expecting him to wake up and start drunkenly cursing me or flailing about (like normal), but he wasn’t moving. Drunk or dead? I stopped about 10 yards away and debated, is this a situation for the boss to handle? Do I get paid enough to discover dead bodies? Is this covered in my job description? This, I decided, was a job for Drama Bear.
Drama Bear was at the desk, fighting illiteracy as usual. He was not happy about a possible dead guy in a shopping cart on library property. He was even less happy about the dead guy being naked, we did have toddlertime scheduled that morning. So we went outside, stared at the shopping cart and possible dead guy and discussed our options. Yelling was the first option. So we yelled, from 10 yards away.
“Excuse me? Sir?” Just because he’s possibly dead and naked in a shopping cart doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve respect. “Hey!” We got a little louder. Patrons stopped on their way in. One guy offered to go get a stick to poke him with, Drama Bear declined this option. We edged closer and noticed that he wasn’t entirely naked, he was wearing itty bitty dirty white shorts. Terry cloth hotpants, if you will.
Drama Bear decided to bite the bullet and call Crimestop. It’s always a last resort unless a weapon has been drawn because of the copious paperwork involved. He trudged inside and the guy with the stick and I waited, making small talk while we watched the shopping cart. Suddenly, movement! He was not a dead or naked guy in a shopping cart. He was merely a passed out, hotpants wearing guy in a shopping cart.
Great story! Perhaps he was out rollar skating in his hot pants?
more like this!!!!